Day 1, Tuesday
I woke up at 5am after the kind of fitful sleep you get, like, right before the first day of school. I fed Puppycat, packed what was remaining and took an Uber to JFK. Straightforward stuff at the airport. Straightforward stuff on the flight. Though, I did watch Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves and it had me giggling. My ass also started hurting around hour 3 so I was glad to land soon. I realized I had been kind of nervous the whole time up until I got in the Uber to the hostel because as soon as we got on the road I was like ‘Oh this is like Hyderabad’ and felt immediately more relaxed.
Checked in at the hostel. It’s nice. No one’s in my 6-bed Female only room yet. More like 6-bed Me-only. I was fighting off a mild headache when a staff member came in asking to leave for 30 minutes because they had to fumigate the rooms (lol) which was perfect timing anyway because I had not eaten aside from a handful of chips and definitely more than 1/4th of a cup of pistachios. I started walking to this place called Ricos Tacos Toluca. Truly, I was like wow all cities are the same and also entirely different. I like the small streets and the ones that have cobblestone and the buildings that have bright colors painted on them with tiny balconies. Once I got to the location, they were closed !!! Cry emoji… I walked back and collapsed on my bed but then hauled my ass to the rooftop and ate a burger, and then drank a coke while drawing this cool building across from my table. The rooftop was entirely empty, by the way. They were setting up for a live music event tonight along with 100peso all-you-can-drink happy hour. It was 4pm and I wanted to sleep, like 4+ REM cycles sleep.
Finished my lil drawing and then hauled ass again to get a toothbrush. It’s a lot calmer after rush hour around here.
I found that my Spanish is definitely usable and more importantly, everyone is friendly and patient enough to communicate effectively and without pressure.
I’m also feeling shy! Or maybe tired? Or scared? Okay definitely not scared. But I’m a little bit disoriented for sure. For some reason, I’m like, oh, I need a full morning and a breakfast and coffee before I can put on my persona for meeting people or going outside and wanting to actually do something. Understandable. It’s so interesting how I still feel a sense of I should be behaving this way and literally, literally no one is here to enforce it. It’s just me. I’m my own cop. yuqiboy police department, headcount: 1. Ha! I kind of love this feeling though, it feels exciting. Curious to see how I will feel tomorrow.
Day 2, Wednesday
Okay, today was a little bit fun, a little bit whacky, a little bit awkward and overall what I would expect from this to be honest.
I woke up at 6am and dallied around because I was still alone in my 6-bed female dorm room. Finally went to the co-working space and career-doomscrolled on LinkedIn and Reddit until 8:30am-ish. I figured I spent enough time stressing myself out and went to the rooftop to have a fat breakfast of a yogurt bowl with berries and peanut butter and an omelette on top of chilaquiles with red sauce and a coffee with milk and sugar. God it was so good. I was so full. I ended up also drawing the facade of the building in front of me.
I joined a buncha others for the walking tour in Roma. It was a super social experience and I wanted to take out my sketchbook and draw but we were chatting, gabbing, and walking. We took a bus and then a train to get there and honestly, by the end of the tour, I was happy to have had a card and the subway and bus system felt like a breeze.
We first got churros at El Moro, the original location, and it was so yummy. We had tacos at Bazar del Oro and then a bunch of us got craft beers and pulque at this biergarten spot. We ended the tour in Parque Mexico and it was so serene and peaceful and green. We went back to the hostel and I finally got a SIM card here.
The event on the rooftop tonight at the hostel was Karaoqueer. I wanted to go and see who was gay. Ha! Literally no one except the drag queen Toxxic. She was a blast. There were some good performances. Two dudes from “Holland” sang The Real Slim Shady by Eminem which reminded me of slavic boy culture. The dude next to me said something casually anti-semitic to this annoying girl who wouldn’t stop talking about how she coudln’t wait to do grad school in Israel because the economy is shit. Whatta mess. I drank my beer. I went to bed. Nope. I watched 3 episodes of One Piece because I coudln’t stop farting for, like, an hour. Then I went to bed.
Day 3, Thursday
I was excited for this morning. I knew the cafes I wanted to get breakfast at, I knew the spots I wanted to sit and sketch at, I knew I was in for a chill day alone. I took the train to {STOP} and then walked to what I thought was the RTP bus stop. I waited for 20+ minutes with multiple local busses stopping and passing me by. I then checked Google Maps and Moove It for the 11th time when I realized I overshot the bus stop by a block and it was a lot closer to the train station. The bus arrived just on time.
I had coffee at Que Llueva Cafe and sat there for about an hour, reading, drawing, sipping my coffee and downing my chilaquiles.
Casa Azul was cool. But I felt like I didn’t have the knowledge or context about Frida Kahlo that woulda made me appreciate it more. Maybe?
I walked to the Leon Trotsky’s House Museum and it was mad cool. I loved the gardens and the study and how the windows were placed, like, directly in the center of a wall. After chilling there for a bit, I went and ate at this Lebanese restaurant, GRUTA EHDEN. It was… fine. Ha.
Later that evening, I then went with Greg to get tacos at Taqueria Los Güeros de López. Another Australian named James joined us and we chatted away while I ate my chicken tacos and relished in the compliments about my Spanish pronounciation from these two white guys. James asked me something I loved though: “What do you do? What do you like to do?” And I feel like this is the kind of question I dream of getting asked because it’s in direct opposition to “What do you do for work?” and so I said I like to draw and have been wanting to draw a bunch on this trip. Then I quickly turned the question back to them and they both do Australian Man things like fishing, driving, basketball, watch sports. All of us went back to the hostel and had a beer while watching Latin night where an instructor led a dance lesson. Feeling a bit curious, brave and the tiniest bit tipsy, I got James to join me and he indeed did have two left feet but it was fun. He quickly retired but I went through the rest of the rotation of guys until the end of class and felt giddy with the remnants of rhythmic dance steps still thrumming in my body.
Eventually it was just me and Patricia on the roof and we had another beer and cab’d it to Zona Rosa. It was supposedly lesbian night at Kinky Bar but it looked e m p t y ! We walked around though and eventually stayed put outside this karaoke bar Cantina Las Bohemias. Patricia and I somehow ended up talking about tough family and personal life forks we were both navigating. To the tune of New York, New York and also Cruel Angel’s Thesis. Yes. Yes!
It wasn’t looking super dancy by 1am so we promised a tomorrow and got a hot dog off the street and cab’d it back home where I downed a liter of water in the common areas. I met three random dudes, Austin, Gianni and Casual all three who left us at the rooftop but were pathetically touchy after a night of drinking. I autistically denied their hugs and pleasantries and went to bed.
Day 4, Friday
Ah yes, my solo day ! Me me me ! I took the bus to Museo Nacional de Antropologia and walked around the huge space. Then walked to Chapultepec Castle where I waited in line behind a buncha teenagers wearing these goofy hats that spat out water. The castle was gorgeous. I wanted to draw, like, every part of it. But then I realized I hadn’t eaten and more or less booked it back to the hostel to rest before Lucha Libre.
We had a Mexican influencer El Charro Gonzalez join us for the lucha match. First ate a whole buncha tacos and tequila shots. Then learned all the curse words and chants. The match itself was wild but it reminded me distinctly of watching an a capella performance. Like, yes ! I love theatre, I love the arts. I love to drink a big glass of beer and yell ! We got to meet some of the wrestlers backstage, including some of the women, because of Charro :~)
Somehow, the night kept going and we were on our way to Salon Tenampa in Plaza Garibaldi for mariachi. First, an earthquake alert that has us ushered outta the white van. Then back. Ale and Deisi said “Welcome to Mexico!” and laughed the whole way there. Got free drinks and dinner and it was delicious delicious birria tacos and the world’s most precarious frozen margarita that got us dancing cumbia to two mariachi bands playing completely different songs.
We tore ourselves away from the IG production inside the salon and wound up at Soberbia which was, again, like vibrating sardines to the most banging music. An hour (!) I’m not even entirely sure how it passed so quickly before walking back to the hostel with everyone.
Day 5, Saturday
Decided to skip breakfast and go directly to Lola! for brunch. Somehow ended up a party of 3 after inviting Patricia and then Jimi. I sat at Bou instead because Lola! was so busy and ended up behind this probably-was-a-second-date couple who were so loud with juicy gossip. I love Americans.
At this point I was realizing how much of my trip was actually not solo. Or. I dunno, I am alone, but also “somehow” end up with company, sometimes good, other times great, and some other times boring and trite. I was finally joined by Patricia and Jimi and listened to enough of the couple talking about ethical non-monogamy and toxic masculinity and divine feminine energies.
I continued to shop and found a cute black linen top.
I ended up getting dinner with Colin and his employee (lol) Carlos at El Consentido. Mostly, I just wanted flautas. But once we got up there, there was this gorgeous big painting on the wall and I got chicken huaraches and flautas. Colin was on my walking tour but both these dudes were kinda random locals. They really enjoyed this spot though, it seemed and were grateful for the rec, even though, again, I simply wanted flautas.
It was Patricia’s last day and she insisted we go out. We went to Mr. Duck. Probably my favorite night of dancing. After acquiring that thin film of sweat, beer and other people’s breath clinging to my skin, I left just a little early to walk back to the hostel alone. It was a 12 minute walk and I was tipsy. From the outside, it’s not looking great. But I loved that walk so much. It was mostly cobblestone along Avenido Fransisco I. Madero and I saw groups of teens, adults, friends, lovers all at various stages of their weekends and the air smelled good ! I drank a litre of bottle, once again, and slept well.
Day 6, Sunday
I got breakfast with this girl named Ani from Germany and I got dinner with her in the same spot. She told me she does logistics for shipping sheep across the world in a small down in south of Germany. She has a labarador and he is very cute.
I wanted to have a chill day, especially after the last three days. I went to the Museo de Arte Popular and then to FrikiPlaza to get two volumes of Slam Dunk in Spanish. I checked out. I took the bus to Roma again and got a churro and Mexican hot chocolate in El Moro. Walked to Taqueria Orinoco and met up with Mamon. She told me she met her Spanish boyfriend while she was living in Spain and he was living in Paris. How whacky. I walked her to the bus station next to Chapultepec park and I went home.
My first day and evening in my new private bed room !!! I starfished on my bed and played music loudly, I opened the balcony doors and heard the corn man yell and yell until I dozed off.
Day 7, Monday
Having the feeling of I don’t wanna leave yet. Luckily, I didn’t have enough energy nor feel awake enough to feel sad about my last few days already. Without breakfast, I went into the white van that drove us to Teotihuacan and wore my new black linen top.
I’ve never seen any big pyramids and felt a lil enamored on sight. I mean, it’s just dirt and rocks, but also it was cool dirt and rocks, and old dirt and rocks, and dirt and rocks around which people got hella fucked up and celebrated and sacrificed and prayed. Our tour guid was really good.
There were these insistent vendors selling whistles that made a noise like a jaguar or a big predator bird. I got an obsidian necklace with a depiction of the eclipse. I also got some ancient chipped clay pieces and obsidian shards I found on the ground.
On our way out, I grabbed the cactus fruit tuna (prickly pear fruit) because our guide said it was edible and that the fruit water tasted really good. Bro, when I say my fingers and hands immediately got covered in tiny thorns. I ripped it open and ate the bright red flesh inside and yah ! I was running my hands through my hair for the rest of the day to dislodge the lil spurs from my fingers. Fruit was so good and juicy though.
Day 8, Tuesday
Woke up from an extremely rested evening though I was falling asleep reading fanfiction. I showered and still felt like 5 or 6 cactus spurs digging so small, miniscule, into not just my fingers but they’ve migrated to various parts of my body. I’m confident they’ll come out, my skin is thick enough for that at least, I know. Upstairs I gave a few people directions for morning yoga which happens at 8am.
I sat at a four person table and saw Becka walking in and she sat down. She’s meeting with her group today and they will travel together through Mexico. Then Ani waked in and then Emily walked in.
I feel like I’m in this weird floaty space whenever I think about my job, lack thereof, or my ‘career’ a word that makes me wanna throw up for reasons I know I’ll have to eventually face. I literally have not met another software engineer on this trip and I cannot express how relieving that is. I’d say I don’t know why but I suspect it’s because I feel like most of the people I’m in touch with since college are in tech in some way and I feel overly saturated with the same kind of rhetoric. Oh it sucks, it’s boring, but it pays well, it’s interesting sometimes, I’m glad to have this skillset. It’s also a very New York City thing too, like you need to be making that kind of bank to stay in the city. And you love the city. No, you love the city, d’you understand?
The reaction people have to me saying I’m from New York is typically like ‘Wow, that’s my dream, that’s everyone’s dream!’ and ‘Oh damn, I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t make it, too much in my head. Plus rent!’
But you love New York, y’know.
But why? I was not even happy with how I spent so much of this past professional year of my life there (working remotely for Canadian company).
Here’s a list of things people told me they do:
- Logistics for shipping sheep internationally
- Working at the French embassy to put on cultural events
- A geographer to help the city plan roads better (or not build roads at all)
- Speech therapist
- Doctor (emergency and urgent care) in Perth, Australia
- Owns company
- Owns companies
- Hotel manager after immigrating here
- Sales consultant
- On 4th gap year after high school
Hearing all this did something to my brain, there’s new wrinkles in there.
I went to Mercado de Artesanías La Ciudadela with Ani after breakfast and got a buncha stuff! We took a break in the park (Parque de la Cuidadela) and I started drawing Angel de los Aviadores and invited Ani to join me. We exchanged lil watercolor paintings. I loved it.
We went back in and I finally found the scarves I was looking for ! I also bought a tiny packet of Loteria with 6 boards. Ani and I ended up separating because she wanted to shop more and didn’t want to eat street tacos. I was desperate to try Ricos Tacos Toluca and ahhhhh they were so good ! I had the chorizo verde and chorizo habanero con queso and it was 74 pesos and I squeezed three slices of lime and ate my last few bites with spicy guacamole salsa. I kept tearing up on my walk back to the hostel because of how happy I was. I was so satisfied and so elated to have gotten to try that spot and how delicious it was and the feelings of gratitude and happiness, for some reason, felt like they were going to leap out of my chest.
I couldn’t stop crying thinking about going home. I’ll miss my time here. I feel so overwhelmed and afraid, a bit, that I will go back to feeling more lonely in New York than in my one week here. I did not expect this. I have to be brave and I want to throw a fit about it.
And then devastating news that Puppycat peed on the daybed. Ha ! The way that lil man has me in a psychic grip.
Day 9 Oct 11 Wednesday
I woke up early. Everything I did, I narrated in my head, ah yes, my last. My last morning poop, my last shower, my last moisturizing, my last gathering-my-hair-from-the-tiles-and-throwing-it-away. I took the Metrobus 4 line to Juarez and then the Metrobus 2 line to Jardin Pushkin. It was crowded and I was squished like a sardine into the throngs of other women in the pink car of the bus.
I walked to Rosetta Panaderia and ordered a latte and the guava roll. This was something that Marie from Nayak was telling me about on Monday on the ride back from Teotihuacan. I so desperately wanted to take a lil nap but this lady wanted to keep chatting and I actually didn’t mind. She said that this bakery was good and I made it a point to go before my flight. I shoveled the guava roll down my mouth and gulped the latte down, I don’t know why I was rushing. My flight was over 6 hours away. But the sense of urgency, the hectic speed of a morning in the city, the feeling that there’s something to be done somewhere, somewhere to go was settling into my bones already.
Bus back to the hostel, packed my bags, and off I was to the airport. Goodbye, I love you !!!