Need to get my ass to Iceland, to Colorado.

We need more lifeguards, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I swam exactly 5 pathetic laps in the Astoria pool before they closed lap swim and moved everyone to general swim because there weren’t enough lifeguards. The rec center I signed up for, thinking they had lap swim open at 7am, actually starts their hours at 11am. Fuck this baka life !!!
Fuck this stupid ass piece of shit garbage holiday. Fuck having to have it off and listen to fireworks go off for days leading up to this evening. Fuck the fireworks that are going off right now.
I feel like I’m losing my mind. I feel like I’m just playing a Sim of myself at parties and social gatherings. I literally love being alive. I feel so much enjoyment in the creative things I do, I love seeing the bees in the sunflowers that my neighbors plant in the plot of soil on the sidewalk in front of their house every single summer. And I’m still paying thousands and thousands of dollars for this fuck ass country to bomb and kill the shit out of people abroad and also right here in this city.
...These Fragile Graces, This Fugitive Heart by Izzy Wasserstein
Okay, honestly one of the boringest books I’ve made myself finish in a long time. But as soon I got to the part where Dora was gonna fuck her clone Theo, I was back in. And then calling him her twin? Okay go off..
Still predictable ending and I couldn’t really care for the characters much. Maybe because it’s a novella so it’s short? Or maybe I because I found myself cringing at the queer future in this world. Anyway, glad it’s over!
...- cold showers
- multiple cold showers (morning and evening, and sometimes, a mid-afternoon)
- seeing the moooooooooonnnn and having the phase show up on my locked phone screen so I know what to call it that day
- recognizing bittersweet, vining honeysuckle, bush honeysuckle, virginia creeper, wine berry, poison ivy, porcelain berry, tree of heaven, sumac
- learning about the functionality of the hip joints and muscles and closing my eyes at the gym when warming up to better feel them move inside of me
- cuddling puppycat on the daybed
- eating more lentils and chickpeas and rice and less xanthan gum and guar gum
- enjoying a honeydew melon creamsicle while wearing green shoes, pants, and top while sitting on my front steps
I’m trying to figure out how to sustain the feeder insects I feed to Dark Magician. I still only have flightless fruit flies (Drosophilia hydei) but the culture gets so gross so fast :( I looked up how to reuse the cups and kill the flies in a really old cup and found this really endearing poster responding to someone who was kind of a dick about killing the flies (“I kill flies in many ways, they’re just flies” blah blah)
...