yuqiboy

These Fragile Graces, This Fugitive Heart by Izzy Wasserstein

Okay, honestly one of the boringest books I’ve made myself finish in a long time. But as soon I got to the part where Dora was gonna fuck her clone Theo, I was back in. And then calling him her twin? Okay go off..

Still predictable ending and I couldn’t really care for the characters much. Maybe because it’s a novella so it’s short? Or maybe I because I found myself cringing at the queer future in this world. Anyway, glad it’s over!

• cold showers
• multiple cold showers (morning and evening, and sometimes, a mid-afternoon)
• seeing the moooooooooonnnn and having the phase show up on my locked phone screen so I know what to call it that day
• recognizing bittersweet, vining honeysuckle, bush honeysuckle, virginia creeper, wine berry, poison ivy, porcelain berry, tree of heaven, sumac
• learning about the functionality of the hip joints and muscles and closing my eyes at the gym when warming up to better feel them move inside of me
• cuddling puppycat on the daybed
• eating more lentils and chickpeas and rice and less xanthan gum and guar gum
• enjoying a honeydew melon creamsicle while wearing green shoes, pants, and top while sitting on my front steps

I’m trying to figure out how to sustain the feeder insects I feed to Dark Magician. I still only have flightless fruit flies (Drosophilia hydei) but the culture gets so gross so fast :( I looked up how to reuse the cups and kill the flies in a really old cup and found this really endearing poster responding to someone who was kind of a dick about killing the flies (“I kill flies in many ways, they’re just flies” blah blah)

Every time I see the sunset on my roof or a moon on a clear night, I’m like yippieeeeee

I used to feel like rainy days were only nice for being cozy and indoors, but now I love seeing all the worms and damp grass smell, even if they’re on the sidewalks, even if it’s the moss growing on a cobblestone

I saw the most beautiful girl today. Like, it made me kind of understand the Trojan War, that kind of beautiful. Like if she got kidnapped by an opposing nation, I would no doubt go to war just to make sure she’s back home safe. If we didn’t have internet and I can only think of women I’ve ever seen in real life, and I saw this girl today, I would be like, okay this is it, this is the most beautiful a person could be that I could also witness. But I’m also not being crazy right now, I won’t say that she’s necessarily for everyone, but it’s like… something about her makes me want to write poems and also do 20 push ups. So grateful I get to feel like this :")

The last time I had alcohol was mid-August at the US Open. There’s been a bottle of Corona in the back of my fridge for over a year. A remnant from when I would cook dinner in the summer with the window open and the radio on and have an ice cold beer with a lime in it to keep me company.

Wait I lied so hard, I drank a lot in CDMX. HAHAHAH that was really fun. It also felt appropriate. “I don’t really know you people and this social lubricant will help all of us have fun.”